Fool to Think
by Anthy
Summary: Series is now complete!! Gateau ponders why while Carrot laments. . . and Marron decides. shounen-ai.
1. Fool to Think

**Disclaimer:** Sorcerer Hunters are property of. . .somebody else and I don't have permission to use them (doesn't stop me though). "Fool to Think" belongs to the lovely Dave Matthews Band, and I don't have permission from them either. This is purely for entertainment purposes, yada, yada, yada. (Disclaimer written under the influence of _Smarties_)

**Author's note:** _This is a SHOUNEN-AI fic, pretty safe to read (no lemonade in this fic) ^_^. _

**Fool to Think**  
by Anthy

_**Look at me dreaming of you  
All I could hope is to have you  
To have you walking with me**_

We've been walking in silence for over an hour now, and I could care less. Just to be walking next to him, so close that I could practically feel his sleeve graze across my arm--this is heaven. I see him out of the corner of my eye, his black hair so silky that the sun seems to be happy to make it shine. I can't see his exquisite face, nor his brown eyes that seem almost golden, but I can imagine them still. I stare up at the sky and let my mind wander, immediately thoughts of my teammate run across my mind. 

**_Laughing so in love, we two  
Almost drunkenly  
I did imbibe of this  
Fantasy of you and me. . ._**

_Marron is leaning against a wall, his arms crossed almost impatiently. He unconsciously begins to twist a lock of his long hair. I secretly watch him from my cracked doorway, from which he promptly yells at. _

"Hurry up Gateau, we'll be late!" he huffs as he turns to the mirror. He is wearing jeans and a light tee shirt, not his usual fare, but it suits him just as well. Looking back at the door, and after realizing I am not joining him anytime soon, begins to braid his hair. After a few half-hearted attempts, he flips his hair back and then piles it on his head and strikes a silly pose. He begins to laugh, and I immediately join in. He whips around to the door and I know I'm caught. I bound beside him and wrap my arms around his slender waist. I lean forward, ready to catch that perfect mouth of his into a kiss. . .

I hear his voice, it breaks me from reverie. I must have been daydreaming again. I turn my head to look at him, and for a brief second I thought I saw a glimmer of something in Marron's eyes, but he had already turned his head to the road.

**_Was I a fool to think?  
The way you looked at me  
I swear you did  
But you looked away too quick_**

"I'm sorry Marron, I didn't quite get all that." I admit sheepishly. 

"My brother's in trouble again." he repeats, always in that same quiet emotionless tone. 

"When is he ever _not_ in trouble." I say, but all Marron does is shrug, whether in agreement or indifference, I can never tell. We walk further in silence. 

_**Was I a fool, was I a fool to think  
That you would take me home  
As if I was yours  
Was I a fool to think at all?**_

We finally catch up with the others, Carrot is currently face first into the ground, a mallet wedged nicely into the back of the idiots head. Both Chocolate and Tira take turns yelling at the twitching form on the ground, and would occiasionally at each other. A very irritated girl can been seen far into the horizon. 

"Darling, how dare you try to cheat on me!" Chocolate cries melodramtically. 

"Sister!" Tira snaps at Chocolate before turning back to Carrot, "we haven't even reached town and you throw yourself at the first girl you see!" 

"I will throw myself at who ever I please!" Carrot jumps up from the ground. "Hey pretty lady! Don't be mad, wait for me!" 

I stand and watch as Carrot tries to run away but is thwarted by the two. I chuckle as I turn to say something to Marron, but he has already begun to walk ahead. 

"We must keep going if we are to make it to town before nightfall." Marron tells us, never even bothering to look over his shoulder to see if we follow. But who could ever refuse Marron anything. 

**_I've grown tired of love  
You are the trouble with me  
I watch you walk right by  
I smile, you do not notice me_**

Eventually we fall into our usual walking order, Carrot and the sisters arguing up in front, Marron and myself following behind quietly in back. This is probably due to Carrot's many failed escape attempts but that is besides the point. Marron is walking beside me, and we are at least carrying a civil conversation. It is mostly about the mission, but I get to hear his voice. 

_**Treat me recklessly  
All you do is toss me pennies out  
But the silence in me is screaming  
Won't you come and get me?**_

We are no longer talking. The silence is killing me. All I hear are the endless yelps and screams that are a few steps ahead of us. I can't even tell if Marron realizes I'm still walking besides him, or if he even cares. The town is visible, but still far away. It won't be for another hour before we reach it, but I don't know if I'll last. Look at me Marron, acknowledge that I exist in your world, that I'm at least your friend. Please, that's all I want. Marron, say something. . . 

There is only silence--and Carrot's screams. 

I can't take it anymore. I'm losing my edge, and I know what I am going to do next. 

"LOOK AT ME!!" I yell as I jump in front of his path and begin to flex. Marron looks almost ill before he turns in the opposite direction. 

**_Was I a fool to think?  
The way you looked at me  
I swear you did  
But you looked away too quick_**

I want to die. I want to hide. But I can't, so I do the next best thing. 

"Tira! LOOK AT ME!!" I run up to her and continue my flexing and posing. Eventually someone hits me over the head, either it is Tira, Carrot, or Chocolate but I really don't care. I lay on the ground in a drunken haze, waiting for darkness to settle in. I never pass out, no one is strong enough, but at least I can lay here long enough for the pain to go away, for the heartache to subside. This game will continue tommorrow, and the day after that and the day after that, and yet as painful as it is that I may never win, I can't wait to try again. 

**_You make a mess of me here (was I a fool?)  
I dance a thousand steps for you (was I a fool?)  
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think?  
Am I a fool, am I a fool for you?  
_**

TO BE CONTINUED. . . 

Whatcha think of my little ficcy? Should I continue? I will whether reviews are received or not. _If ye seeks approval, then it is no longer fun. . ._ Reviews are not required, but always appreciated. ^_-   



	2. What You Are

**Disclaimer:** Sorcerer Hunters are property of. . .ADV plus other people and I don't have permission to use them. The lyrics "What You Are" belongs to the lovely Dave Matthews Band, and I don't have permission from them either. _Another DMB song!_ *Anthy's muse groans* Last time for this series, I promise. 

**Author's note:** _This is a SHOUNEN-AI fic, pretty safe to read (no lemonade in this fic) ^_^._

**Anthy's muse**: Sheesh, DMB again! Might as well call this the "Love According to Dave Matthews Arc!"  
**ReiAkari's muse**: Shuddup! Dave Matthews rules! I have Rei writting at least three more DMB songfics, so buck up buddy!  
**Anthy's muse**: Why are you here?  
**ReiAkari's muse**: Because Rei is Anthy's twin, and she's older, and she told me to bug you!  
**Anthy's muse**: So it's you!!! Anthy! Don't do it!!! Write something else! I can't take it anymore!! *runs away*  
**ReiAkari's muse**: Now that she's gone. . . 

**What You Are**  
by Anthy

I see him sitting there, dazed, hurt, yet I make no more to help him. The idiot asked for it, throwing himself at my brother like that. Sure, he threw himself at Tira afterwards (though I must applaud her swift mallet work), but I knew it was just to save face. Marron walks ahead, not even bothering to see if we are following. Unfortunately, he's heading the opposite direction. Thankfully, Chocolate steers him around before anyone notices, but I do. 

**_Realize, realize what you are...  
What you've become,  
Just as I have_**

I'm not stupid. Even though I spend all my time trying to find love with a _sane_ woman, I can tell when my brother is interested in someone. Including if that person happens to be someone I'd pay a Haz Knight to rough up on my behalf. Damn you, Gateau Mocha, don't you know what you've done? It's not fair. Quit throwing yourself at someone you just can't have. I can see him sit up out of the corner of my eye. Even without turning, I can see the rejection written on his face. Maybe I'm too hard on him, I mean we go through the same thing every day. 

**_Are you and I so alike?  
I don't hear you  
Just as I am_**

But at least the woman I throw myself at I'll never see again. The most stupidest thing he could ever do was to fall for my brother. Poor idiot. Maybe I do feel sorry for him, but I'd never tell him that. Nor will I tell him the reasons why he will never win over my brother. Marron will never love. . . or so he tells me. I see the way he looks Gateau, when he thinks no one is looking, the stolen glances during battles, how he is *ill* during his flex-a-thons. A brother knows all too well what is going on in the other's mind. But to love means heartbreak, an emotion Marron chose not to have. Unfortunately, you can't pick and choose your emotions.

**_Afraid if we dance we might die  
Mock the world  
Live safe, say why  
Don't you know if you live life  
Then you become what you are_**

"We'll never make it to the village in time." Tira sighs as she trudges along beside me. "Maybe we should set up camp for the night." 

"Great idea sister," Chocolate drawls as she wraps her arm suggestively around my shoulders, "Darling can share with me!" 

"Sister!" Tira admonishes as she pushes Chocolate aside. Marron has finally realized that no one was following him and has returned to the group. Gateau turns the other direction. 

"We'll need firewood," he states before walking away. Marron turns in the direction of the nearby lake, presumably to get some food. 

**_The seasons sparing  
We're all drifting away  
Away from you  
I pray for you now_**

_"Oh come on! Get a room!" I shout as I walk into the living room and catch the two of them in a passionate embrace. _

"I'm sorry, Brother," Marron says as he turns to face me, Gateau still refusing to release his waist. Marron giggles and swats Gateau's chest, "We were headed to the movies, but a certain someone took too long." 

"Hey! I can't help it if it takes me forever to look as sexy as I do." Gateau retorted, tickling Marron in the side. 

"Don't flatter yourself," Marron and I say at the same time, sending us both into fits of laughter. 

"Fine, I see how you are," he says feigning sadness, "I guess I should inform the Misu sisters that you are indeed home tonight, Carrot." 

"No, no! No need for that!" I stammer as Gateau laughs trimuphantly and takes Marron's hand. As they leave, I can't say I've ever seen my brother so happy. Marron's head pops in the doorway and he is smiling ear to ear. He is laughing. The expression suddenly changes to a blank emotionless stare and he is staring right at me as if I've lost my mind. 

"Brother," 

"Brother, are you alright?" Marron asks as he hands the fish to Tira, "Did Tira hit you too hard?" 

"No, I'm fine." I murmur as I think back to that usual daydream. A dream where my brother is happy, and not alone. Maybe I did get hit too hard in the head.

**_Hoping to God on high  
Is like clinging to straws  
While drowning, oh  
Realize, realize what you are..._**

Gateau has returned with an unneccessarily large load of fire wood. He wordlessly deposits this on the ground and begins to set up his tent. 

**_What you are  
Is the beast in a lover's arms_**

Marron watches all this briefly before mirroring Gateau's actions, only he is as far away from his teammate as possible. 

**_What you are  
Is the devil in the sweet, sweet kiss_**

Like a good big brother, I should play matchmaker, and stop this frustrating game before it drives me insane. But I won't, because I know that's not what Marron wants. Though I don't see what he sees in that big brute anyways. Oh great, Chocolate and Tira are fighting to see who's tent gets set up next to mine. Time to play mediator, though I know I'll end up harmed in some fashion. As long as they're not harming each other. . .

**_What you are  
Is missing a piece_**

The camp has been set. We sit and eat, and even though everything seems normal, I notice that something isn't right. And I think the others know this as well. Something has to be done, but no one knows what it is. If only I could give some answers, but unfortunately that's not my place. 

**_What you are  
Is a puzzle to me_**

If only I could tell Gateau how my brother really feels, and why he acts the way does. But it's solely up to you. I wish I could explain why, but this is something you have to do on your own. Gateau, just love him.

**_Don't trust me  
Trust you...  
Up to you...  
Trust you..._**

To Be Continued. . . 

**ReiAkari's muse:** Dave, Dave, Dave, Matthews, Matthews, Matthews. You will love him. . .  
**ReiAkari**: WHAT ARE YOU DOING! GET IN MY BRAIN NOW YOUNG LADY! LEAVE ANTHY ALONE!!  
**ReiAkari's muse:** B-b-but  
**ReiAkari:** Don't want to hear it. We've got a fic to finish. You can harass Anthy later. . . *ReiAkari leaves with her muse*  
**Anthy's muse:** Dave, Dave, Dave, Matthews, Matthews, Matthews . . . we've got a series to finish. Damn you Rei's muse! You're going down! 

**Author's Note:** 1,000 apologies with the muse dialogue, its 4 am and ReiAkari and I are running soley on caffeine and Smarties!! ^_^ Part 3 coming soon!!~Anthy 


	3. If I Had It All

**Disclaimer:** Sorcerer Hunters are property of. . .other people and I don't have permission to use them. The lyrics "If I Had It All" belongs to (no surprise here) Dave Matthews Band, and I don't have permission from them either. 

**Author's note:** _This is a SHOUNEN-AI fic, pretty safe to read (no lemon-y goodness in this fic) ^_^._

**Anthy's muse**: I will not scream, I will not shout, I will not. . .Dave, Dave, Dave--Argh!  
**ReiAkari's muse**: Hehehehehehe

**If I Had It All**  
by Anthy

**_Sometimes I can't move my feet it seems  
As if I'm stuck in the ground somehow like a tree  
As if I can't even breathe  
Oh, and my screams come whispering out_**

After a day's delay, we had finally reached the town. I looked at the empty streets, the town filled with so much poverty and fear that no one dares to show their faces when the sun sets. After tonight, however, they would never have to fear again.

**_As if nobody can even see me  
Like a ghost, sometimes I can't see myself  
Sometimes, then again, oh_**

The sorcerer was an easy defeat, he had grown too cocky with his abilities. Sadly, he was not as powerful as he thought. He fought bravely though, until he got cornered by Gateau. Gateau was reckless, and the sorcerer almost cast his most fatal spell on him. I stopped that from happening before anyone else noticed I moved at all. 

"Sorry brother," I muttered as my spell causes the sorcerer's arm to point towards Carrot, his Zoanthropy reacting immediately. The sorcerer watched in morbid fascination as my brother transformed into that large brown beast. The poor man did not even realize that the others had stopped fighting him. As Carrot roared and stomped about, the mansion walls began to crumble. Next thing I knew, I was tackled to the ground, and a large piece of ceiling crashed to where I once stood. I looked up to see Gateau's face over mine, pieces of stone still bouncing off his shoulders. 

"Better blow this joint before that idiot gets us all killed," he whispered as he stood and picked me up in his arms. It was unneccessary, really, since I could walk just fine. 

"The sorcerer," I asked as I let myself stare into those sky blue eyes. He grinned slightly as he continued to dodge falling cement. 

"Under Carrot's foot." 

**_If I were a king  
If I had everything  
If I had you and I could give you your dreams  
If I were giant-sized, on top of it all  
Then tell me what in the world would I sing for  
If I had it all_**

Once we reached outside and far away from the steadily falling mansion, I promptly realized that Gateau was still carrying me. I said nothing, however, I wanted to be this close to my friend as long as possible. I knew that the second my feet reached the ground, they would move away from him. I clutched onto his vest and buried my face into his strong shoulder, I must admit I had never felt so safe. 

"Gateau, is Marron ok?" Tira asked as she ran towards us. Realizing my folly I released my companion and hopped from his arms. 

"Thank you, Gateau," I said to him, nodding politely. I turned to Tira. "I twisted my ankle. I'll be fine." 

Both Tira and Gateau raised their eyebrows at my blatant lie, though I must admit I was surprised myself. Where did that come from? Before Tira could inspect my non-existant injury further, Chocolate informed her it was time to bring Carrot back. All inquiries were forgotten as she whipped off her red cloak and sprung into action. 

**_Sometimes I feel lost  
As I pull you out like strings of memories  
Wish I could weave them into you  
Then I could figure the whole damn puzzle out  
Then again, oh_**

_"Carrot!" I shouted as I peeked my head into the doorway. Gateau tugged impatiently on my arm, causing me to laugh. "Don't wait up." _

"Don't want to hear it!" Carrot answered in a singsong voice. 

"You are a pervert!" Gateau mimicked Carrot's tone and as he looked in the doorway. He winked at me and I couldn't help but blush. 

"Young love," Carrot grumbled as he flopped onto the couch and reached for the remote, "God, I feel so old. Hey, don't stay out too late, and Gateau you better behave yourself or I'll-" 

"Hello, is Tira or Chocolate there?" Gateau said as he pretended to talk on his cell phone. 

"I'll, I'll just sit here and watch TV." Carrot stammered as Gateau laughed. Pocketing his cell phone, he reached for my hand and pulled me out the door. 

"So, where are we headed tonight?" I asked as I turned to face him. He was no longer smiling. In fact he looked sad, and confused. 

"I'm sorry." 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tackle you so hard, Marron." Gateau murmured. He knew I was lying, but he was just saving face. 

"Don't worry about it." I said as we both watched Chocolate and Tira carry a very beaten Carrot towards us. 

"Do you need help walking?" he asked hopefully as he fell into his usual flirting routine. I felt that same voice rising up again, that same voice that lied--my real voice. Shaking my head, I walked away.

**_If I were a king  
If I had everything  
If I had you and I could give you your dreams  
If I were giant-sized, on top of it all  
Then tell me what in the world would I sing for  
If I had it all_**

I'm sorry, Gateau, this is just how it has to be. We reached the nearest inn and purchased a room and a few extra cots. While the others argued on who got the double beds, I slipped out silently. I slowly walked to the lake that I had went fishing at the day before, I needed to think. 

**_I could take anything  
If I had no greed to bring  
Only the poison that's tainting the clean  
Oh, then nothing_**

The lake was so beautiful. Large and clear, the pale moonlight bounced across the small waves. There was a light breeze and I relished in the soft sound it caused as it flowed past my hair. Soft strands hit my face, so I tuck them behind my ears. Looking up at the stars I meditate and searched for the most difficult answers, answers I had so much trouble answering. _Why must I torture myself?_

**_Remembering times much younger than me now  
When my breath was light  
When the world raised me up kind_**

Why do I have to be so aloof, and alone? My love for them would only cause them pain, and it would be my fault. If only I could have more control, even though it is my control that has doomed me to this lonely fate. I wanted to cry, but I'd forgotten how. I could feel his eyes on me, he must have followed me. Though I don't acknowledge his presence, I could sense the warmth radiated from his gaze. He loves me so much, though I don't understand why. Even still, the memory of this evening when I was in his arms crossed my mind, even if it was for a brief moment. 

_I want to feel those arms around me again,_ my inner voice screamed. 

**_And here mother comforts child  
Every moment was waking up  
But now I've grown tired... out_**

And for once, I listened.

I turned my gaze towards Gateau, his body hidden by the shade of the trees. He stepped into the moonlight, and my head felt very light. 

_Tonight_, my mind whispered, _I tell him everything._

**_If I had it all, you know  
I'd fuck it up_**

To Be Continued. . . 

* * *

**ReiAkari's muse:** *bound and gagged* MMMPHHH!!  
**Anthy's muse:** Victory is mine!  
**ReiAkari**: No more Dave until you finish my fic.  
**ReiAkari's muse:***muffled* NOOOO!  
**ReiAkari:** Sorry for the intrusion, folks, we shall be leaving you now. No more DMB for the conclusion of the series.  
**Anthy and her muse:** Whoo-hooo! 

**Author's Note:** I am really a big DMB fan, I just find writting song fics frustrating as Hell!! *kicks ReiAkari's muse* Thanx to my big sister for letting me borrow her muse, she's all yours now. (thanx bunches for beta reading, too!) ^_^ Part 4 coming soon!!~Anthy 


	4. Dreams

**Disclaimer:** Sorcerer Hunters are property of. . .other people and I don't have permission to use them. 

**Author's note:** _This is a SHOUNEN-AI fic, pretty safe to read (no lemon-y goodness in this fic) ^_^._

**Dreams**  
by Anthy

"Gateau!" Carrot snaps at me. I don't want to fight tonight, I'm tired. 

"I thought we agreed, the girls would take the beds, we get the cots. Or are you to stupid to remember?" 

"Shove it, muscle-brains." he retorts before motioning to the door. "Marron went on one of his walks. Bring 'em back will ya?" 

"Why me? Aren't you afraid I'll pervert his fragile mind with my beautiful bod?" I joke, though he catches my sarcasm immediately. 

"No. When ever my brother disappears, you are the only idiot who can find him. Just don't do anything stupid, opps, too late." 

As much as I want to punch that smug face into a nearby wall, I don't because I know Marron would literally kill me for it. Plus, even as much as we won't admit it, he is as much a friend to me as the others. I immediately head for the lake. For some reason water relaxes him, just as much as the moon and the dark blue sky. 

I see him there sitting on the log, the breeze playing with those long raven tresses of his. I swear he looks so peaceful like this, staring out into the water, his pale skin practically glowing in the blue-ish light of the moon. I stand as still as possible by the tree, and I know I am completely hidden by the shadows. Somehow, he knows I'm there. He turns his head. . .and smiles. I practically melt from the sight, and I slowly begin to walk towards him. Marron's smile falters, and I stop my pursuit. Marron stands and begins to walk towards me. 

"Um, C-Carrot told me you'd be here and-" I begin to stammer an excuse when Marron reaches out and places a finger to my lips. He grins and shakes his head lightly. 

"I'm the one who has some explaining to do," he says as he turns and heads back to the log. "Come, sit with me." 

Once we sit, there is a long awkward silence between us. I find my mind wandering, and I feel as if I am daydreaming again. 

_"G-Gateau! You shouldn't have!" Marron gushes as he looks at the surprise I've left out for him. We are at the lake where we shared our first kiss. I decided for our anniversary to recreate that night. I set up the nearby bench with a fancy restraurant layout: wine glasses, candles, the works. Music plays lightly from a boom box under the table. Marron laughs as he throws himself in my arms, and showers my face with kisses. _

"I love you so much." I whisper between kisses. 

"Forever?" he asks as looks me in the eyes. 

"Not even **you** could stop me from loving you." 

"That's all I needed to know." he says through tears, "I love you more than you'll ever know. Never forget that." 

"You remember," Marron says beside me, and I nearly fall off the log. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"The dreams. You remember them?" 

"Always. You're so happy in them." 

"I don't understand. What do you know about my daydreams?" 

"Gateau," Marron says as he continues to look out in the water, "why do you always like to flex in front of me?" 

"It's the only thing that I know of that can get a human reaction from you. What does that have to do with-" 

"My magic. I have to be in control of my emotions for my spells to be safe and effective. However, when someone I love gets hurt, I lose control. It is dangerous enough to see my brother hurt in battle, but if I was to grow to love the others. . ." 

"So you distance yourself from us." 

"The "dreams" are from another life, a gift of sorts, of what could have been." 

"But they can be Marron," I plead as I grab for his hand. He doesn't pull it away, but his face remains in an emotionless mask. 

"They can't, Gateau, never," he states as a single tear falls from his cheek. I grasp his cheek with my free hand and turn his face to mine. 

"Why can't they be?" 

"Because I don't want to lose you!" he shouts, tears running down his face. I wipe them away and pull him in a big hug. I hold him as he cries, his actions speaking more than words. I finally understand. 

"I'm always good on my word." I whisper as I feel his arms wrap around me. 

"Forever?" he asks. 

"Not even you could keep me away." I say as he brings his lips to mine. 

* * *

**Marron:**

That was our first and only kiss as a Sorcerer Hunter, and life went back into it's usual routine. I still don't know why I kissed him, but it was worth it. Gateau loves me. And it wasn't in my dreams either. One day I know we will no longer have to fight and that we can be together like in our other lives and dreams. But until then, we must continue on . . . alone. 

**Author's Note:** Some slap/dash ending, ne? Sorry if it stunk. Possible sequel or revisions later. Thank you to all who have read, and double thanks for those who reviewed as well (I really appreciated it). See you later! ~Anthy 


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